Closing
When we first met, I really liked you because you were easy to talk to.
I don't know what changed, or if you have been this way ever since the beginning, but it's pretty hard to "chill" with you now days.
You laugh at other people's misfortune.
You laugh when people make blunders or mistakes when they're trying to have fun or take a risk.
You revel in the thought of someone failing, going home, and never trying.
You hide and stash things away, yet you ask the most piercing questions.
You're the nosiest person that I know. Probably the most stubborn one too.
You use other people's opinions only when they back up your own. You use them as excuses to not do anything or try anything different or outside the paved path. This limits you. You think you're an expert on things to do, but your fears, based only on rumor, keep you from experiencing anything substantial, therefore you're an expert of nothing. You love the thought of being more well traveled than others, yet you never leave the tour group.
Despite overwhelming evidence of a given thought, you try to find one flaw, which seems to rule out the entire notion.
It's apparent that you did lie that one time, and I don't know who you're fooling when you bring it up.
You do have some okay qualities though.
You're clearly very smart, your memory is amazing.
You're a true minimalist.
You value family and heritage.
You find joy and happiness in simple things.
It's cute how you try to make sure other people are having a good time, despite how obviously uncomfortable and tired you appear.
You read a lot.
And the material is very relevant to the times.
But despite all this knowledge, you don't act. It's a shame, a waste.
I have learned from you though.
Sometimes opposites do attract.
And for the love of god, pita is a type of bread, and hummus is the wonderful spread/dip that makes most things, like pesto, better. Don't confuse the 2 again, especially when you're at your next Yelp elite event.
Also, never order a Smirnoff Ice again. At least when you're around me. Or anyone for that matter.